If you want to help people toe the line, one of the most effective methods is through motivating them via guilt and shame. We see it all the time – “If you don’t do this, you can’t be one of us.” “If you do that, so-and-so is going to be angry/disappointed with / ashamed of you.” “You’re not a good person unless you do/don’t do such-and-such.” It works pretty well at getting people to act in certain ways and to believe certain things.
We even see it in our churches; it’s become so ingrained as to be near-doctrine. “You’d better believe this, or else you’re not a real Christian (aka, one of us).” “You sinned; now God’s mad at you/disappointed in you/ashamed of you.” “If you don’t teach 6th Grade Boy’s Sunday school, you’ll be letting down all of the families, and you’re not proving your holiness.” “Just think of all of the people suffering, and here you are sitting in church with your Starbucks coffee.” It’s insidious, but it would take a long time to run out of examples of shaming and guilt-tripping in the church.
The problem with motivating through guilt and shame is that it doesn’t provide results that lead to life. In fact, it only provides results that lead to death. Sure, the 6th graders get taught their lessons and maybe you give an extra $20 to missions after feeling guilty about your caramel latte. But it’s at the expense of your abundant life in Christ – the very thing that Christ died for.
You see, guilt and shame are reminders of sin and failure. They’re the very things that Christ took with Him to the cross to crucify. If you’ve repented of those sins, they’re gone under the blood of Jesus (Isaiah 53:6, 1 Peter 2:24). Failure has happened to all of us, but in Christ, these failures get to be redeemed because He makes beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). If our motivations are based on sin (forgiven by Christ) and failure (made beautiful by the same), then we’re living in a world that 1) no longer exists, and 2) isn’t an accurate representation of Who God is in us.
If you want people to toe a line, motivate them with sin and guilt. If you want people to mature and become Christ-like, motivate them with the attributes of God’s nature – His kindness (Romans 2:4, Luke 6:35), His goodness (Matthew 7:11, Nahum 1:7, Psalm 107:1), His mercy (Ephesians 2:4-5, Jonah 4:2, Luke 6:36), His feelings toward sin and uncleanness (Psalm 5:4-5, Isaiah 59:2, Deuteronomy 23:12-14), and the attributes of the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) (Galatians 5:22-23).
Is God just? Doesn’t He still require something of us when we sin or when we fail? Yes! Anything less than a consequence for sin is a further sin – absolving yourself from responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and relationship with God.
But the justice of God hinges on a key word: “Repentance.” “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” John wrote in 1 John 1:9. Or in the words of Solomon, “He who confesses and forsakes them [his transgressions] will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Repentance takes responsibility for action and for sin; it asks for forgiveness, and – under the way God has set up this world to work – it brings forgiveness.
Motivating others (or yourself) through guilt and shame works to produce a result. But motivation through repentance and the attributes of God will bring you both the result and life – and life abundantly.
