I grew up in a large family. That means that I had plenty of opportunities to learn how to get along with other people. My parents were insistent that we always treat each other right, without arguing (Philippians 2:14). Now, that didn’t mean we were always perfect or that we never disagreed, just that we learned how to disagree kindly and to (well, maybe, sometimes, oftener as we grew older) give up our own wants, needs, and desires in order to be kind and loving to our siblings.
While it wasn’t always easy, this has set us up well in life. First, we can see beyond our own noses to the needs, desires, and perspectives of others. (There’s nothing quite like being able to see someone else’s viewpoint to explain why they acted in such-and-such way, even if it wouldn’t have been your first choice. It also reduces the temptation to gossip because we can (if we choose) see the other person’s perspective instead of putting forth our own opinions on why everyone should do it our way.) Second, arguing is one of the faster ways I’ve found to get myself out of loving others and out of being led by the Holy Spirit, so not being in the habit of arguing is very helpful. Third, when treating people with love is your go-to, this extends beyond the family to everyone around you (at least, that’s the idea, and it does seem to work most of the time, because it’s become cultural instead of just behavioral).
My parents used to say to me, “Be kind” but a more accurate way of looking at it might be to say, “Honor the other person” (this being the command in Romans 12: 10, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” or in the AMP “Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor”). Honoring one another (either “above yourselves” or while “giving preference to one another”) is an extension of the Spiritual Gifts Paul discusses just before Romans 12:10.
Every parent likes to see their children playing or working together in harmony and love – not bickering, complaining, or putting one another down. John got at this when he wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4). We honor our parents by getting along with our siblings.
As a Father, God also likes to see His children playing and working and living in harmony and love. We honor Him and love Him when we treat each other with honor and respect. What does honor look like? According the verse above, it means being devoted (showing strong love, loyalty, or dedication) to one another, showing each other affection, and giving preference to one another – or as other versions put it, “set examples for each other in showing respect,” “be eager to show respect for one another,” and “Outdo one another in showing honor.”
