The other day, I was reading an article where someone was spouting their opinion on various cultures. To this young woman, there were two responses to a person’s success in life. In the first type of culture, if someone “made it,” the people around them knew this person would be reaching back down to try and lift up at least one other person to help them “make it,” too. In the other type of culture, if a person was successful or had a good thing happen to them, the people around them would try and tear them back down to the level of the majority.

I’m sad to admit it, but both of these cultures exist in our churches and Christian friendships today. In fact, while this is certainly not the case for every church, a majority of Christians feel it is their duty to tear down someone who is succeeding in life – to keep them from becoming prideful, to help them see they’re not as special as their current circumstances suggest, to remind them that God looks out for the poor but despises the rich (because that’s in the book of Proverbs, right?)

Here are a few ways we sometimes tear people down when they begin to succeed in life:

1) Belittling or mocking achievements

2) Criticizing those who are succeeding

3) Looking for ways to show they are a hypocrite

4) Spreading rumors or gossip about this person

5) Accusing them that they get preferential treatment because of their money or status

6) Making them feel excluded

7) Sabotaging relationships, plans, efforts, etc.

8) Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior

9) Feeling we could spend their money better than them

10) Reminding them that they aren’t as special as their achievements suggest

These are all diabolical, and engaging with them is to fraternize with evil and use the demonic to your own selfish ends. It was never God’s plan for us to tear each other down (James 4:11-12, Galatians 5:15, Ephesians 4:29, etc.).

So what are some ways we can build a culture that will build others up?

1) Become comfortable in who God had called you to be in this season (Philippians 4:11-13). This is the #1 most important part of beginning to build up others instead of tear them down. Most of the tearing down mentality comes from the insecurity that whispers things like, “You’re better than them, yet they get everything and you’re left with nothing. Maybe if you just became like them, you’d be successful, too. If only you had all that money, you’d be able to do what’s right. You’re not as good as them, and you should be jealous of what they have, because you deserve it, too. You just don’t deserve the money and fame; that’s why you don’t have it.” It goes on, but most of the lies are based in a murky idea of what God has for you in this season, discontentment with where you are, and fear that you will not have enough. Knowing who God is for you in this season, who you are in Him in this season, and cultivating contentment will do wonders for your ability to help and support others, even those in much better circumstances than your own.

2) Celebrate with those who are celebrating (Romans 12:15). I can’t tell you the number of people who found breakthrough when, instead of becoming jealous of another person’s success, they supported and celebrated another’s success.

3) Watch your heart stance toward those who are succeeding – and intentionally keep your thoughts and heart pure – so your words and actions toward them will also be pure (Luke 6:45). Keeping your heart pure will keep you from gossiping, slandering, belittling, accusing, and criticizing those around us.

4) Accept everyone no matter their status and don’t judge them based on appearances (James 2:1-5). Our secular culture tends to judge based on status. We get to overlook status and treat everyone like God sees them – now that’s a true honor!

5) Don’t covet another person’s money or judge how they spend said money (Hebrews 13:5). The verse says, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” There is so much more to life than money, and you’ll be a lot happier overall if your eyes on Jesus instead of wealth.

6) Look for ways to help others (Galatians 6:2). This may be an encouraging word, a friendship, practical hands-and-feet type help, financial aid, or any number of other things. Helping others with whatever you have (even if it’s just a bit of time or knowledge) is lifting people up instead of getting into the habit of tearing others down.

7) Be generous (2 Corinthians 9:6). Again, this is helping others succeed, and it gives birth to benefits for both yourself and the person you’re helping. Remember, generosity is much more than just money – it’s anything anyone might need, from emotional support or a listening ear to a great hiking trail suggestion or repairing a roof. Generosity has a backbone, is often practical, and should always be fueled by love. The best part is that generosity breeds generosity – so if you’re trying to build a culture of building others up, generosity in all areas of life can be a fast track to helping the people around you be generous, too.

I could go on and on, but I hope these are some practical suggestions for how we can build up our brothers and sisters in Christ instead of tearing them down. “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:14-16)