Today, I’d like to tackle a sticky topic that I don’t promise I fully understand. But I’ll try to give you the best revelation of the topic that I have at the moment – maybe they’ll be a follow-up post in the future!
At times, God will tell us to do or say something specific. Or He will give us a revelation about a specific topic. For example, God may tell you to read or watch specific books or movies – for you, it’s freedom to be able to enjoy them. For another believer, though, the same book or movie may be something God has specifically told them not to consume. Another example: God tells you to say specific words or stand up for a specific thing in a certain situation.
The problem is that even when we’re doing God’s work, as He has led us, and even as we live out our freedom in Christ, we can still hurt, offend, or otherwise injure the faith or conscience of other believers and unbelievers. You can do everything as God told you and still have people hurt along the way.
In some ways, logic says that we shouldn’t worry about it. After all, we were following God. He says it’s fine if we use our freedom, or maybe He even told us to speak the words. We can’t apologize for what God has done in us and what He has told us to do – that would be insinuating that God was wrong and He’s sorry for it.
On the other hand, we do have an obligation to “not let what you eat destroy and spiritually harm one for whom Christ died” (Romans 14:15). Or earlier in the verse, “If your brother is being hurt or offended because of food, you are no longer walking in love” (Romans 14:15). It’s not a stretch to think of this same passage in terms of other freedoms and the things that we do for God. If what we are doing in and for the Lord is hurting others – especially those for whom Christ died – then we are breaking the second most important commandment, which is to love others (Matthew 22:39).
Now before you begin thinking down this line, let me say that we’ve all known people who are “professional weaker brothers,” so to speak. If they don’t like something, they’ll get hurt or offended – as a method of controlling you and others around them. That’s not the type of people I’m talking about in this post. They have their own issues and things to work out with Christ. I’m talking about rational, loving Christians who are also trying to seek God.
We can do all the right things and still hurt people. I think of a man who received a message from God for a friend. The man knew that this message was not going to be accepted. But God worked it out so that the friend was stuck there listening to the man give the message (you can’t exactly get out of a moving car, whether you like what you’re hearing or not!) My guess is that the friend was pretty offended by what the man said – even if it was said in love.
Things get stickier when we stand up for something God has revealed to us. Others can be hurt by our stand, sometimes by what we say or do in our tenacious hold to truth, and sometimes because we’re holding to the revelation we have vs. the revelation that they have (I’m specifically thinking hot political topics, but it can be anything and everything, from Biblical hobby horses to child-raising techniques).
In these situations, should we apologize for the hurt or offence we’ve cause other people? Or does the fact that God has called us to this revelation, freedom, or words spoken mean that we are absolved from responsibility for the hurt?
At this point, I’d say it depends on the situation. But in general, it seems that if we’ve hurt someone – intentionally, unintentionally, by doing what God told us to, or otherwise – it’s our responsibility to apologize for the hurt we, ourselves, have inflicted. Saying, “I’m sorry for hurting you” doesn’t mean that you’re sorry you did it – just that you’re sorry that they got hurt in the process. “I’m sorry” is a nice, blanket statement, but it doesn’t have to cover everything. I can be sorry I made a mess of the clean kitchen, but that doesn’t mean I’m sorry I baked the cake.
Some of us (I’ll include myself in this) need to become more adept at apologizing for the hurt we unintentionally cause. Yes, we were following the Lord. Yes, maybe we didn’t think about the repercussions ahead of time (or maybe we did, but we followed God anyway). Yes, we must never give up or overstep what God has revealed to us. Yet as we know we’re doing what God is doing, we can still apologize for the hurt we cause, even as we’re following Christ.
